It has been too long, mi hermano.

My dearest Tosh,

I am sad to inform you that my pet cuttlefish has passed away. I am going to miss cuddling with that cuttlefish. Did I ever tell you how I came to love this cuttlefish? We originally met, this cuttlefish and I, a couple weeks ago, at a mixer/blind date and we hit it off right away.  Just one stare into its eyes, the color of coal, masked in shadows and brimming with rainbows.  I don't feel it is necessary to explain to you how we made it work, the cuttlefish being a sea creature of such. (Hint: our love.)

We had been taking a somewhat peaceful walk through the streets of Zion after a long vacation in the beautiful land of second earth.  We picked up some cigars from a Cuban merchant, and veered off the main roads into a dark alley.  We parked the our bikes, pushing them against the wall, and immersed ourselves into the Real World-ian atmosphere.  The sounds of people speaking different tongues and sentinels overhead surrounded us as the cuttlefish and I stood awkwardly, hand in tentacle and tentacle and tentacle and tentacle and tentacle and tentacle (you get the point).

I excused myself to find some funnel cake, of which the aromas had begun to waft through the air.  I knew that my sweet cuttlefish couldn't smell the wonderful odors of the fried dough, and politely excused myself to buy some potatoes from the stall across the street.  I made my way out of the alley, making eye contact with my cuttlefish, for what I did not know at the moment, would be the last time in its life.

If I had known that this was the end of our relationship, I would never have left to get the confectionary goodness of funnel cake with powdered sugar which always tends to get itself on my hands and face and nose and even eyelashes too.

Then it happened.

As I turned my back, my rainbownessesenses began to tingle.  I spun around to see the colorful remains of what used to be my cuttlefish splattered upon the walls.  The yellows and reds and blues morphing together to form a congenial puddle of brown.

The funeral will be held... soon. I hope you can make it.

-Qkoc

P.S. Please wear red pants. They were my poor cuttlefish's favorite piece of clothing. And a black shirt, and a bow tie (bow ties are cool), and yellow sunglasses (you can throw them off later).